Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Family Matters

Steve stepped nervously from one foot to the other, waiting for the door to open. He heard his father's heavy steps approach and glanced at his boyfriend next to him, looking to the older man for reassurance.

Hank put his fingers on Steve's neck and squeezed gently, his warm brown eyes calming him.

What would his parents think about Hank, he wondered. They knew he was gay, of course. But his previous boyfriends had been guys his own age, the relationships never lasting long, if they even reached any further than fuck buddies at all. It hadn't come as a surprise to Steve that he immediately took a liking to his newest crush, Hank. The guy was in his late 30s, calm, confident and a real problem solver. Plus he had a killer body, honed by years of being in the construction business, running his own contracting company two towns over.

Sure, Steve hated how people spotting them used to think they were father and son due to the age difference and the similar build and complexion, but other than their thick brown hair and dark eyes, they had little in common. Where Hank was a muscled tank of a man almost a head taller, Steve was more of a twink with a swimmer's body and sinewy muscles while Hank sported bulging pecs covered by soft layers of hair all over his body. In other words, Steve wanted to jump him every minute of each day. He was just that hot.

Feeling calloused fingers caress his nape wakened a stirring in his groin that even his anxiety of introducing Hank to his parents couldn't override.

When the door finally opened, Steve could see a sliver of surprise cross over his dad's face when he took in Hank in his tight khaki pants and sweat shirt. The man clearly hadn't expected a stud like him when Steve told his folks he would bring his newest flame over for dinner. Number 3 in this year alone. Maybe they took Steve for a slut anyway, but who cared? At least with Hank he felt a deeper connection than with any of the other guys before.

"Dad? It's good to see you", he said, hugging his father. "This is Hank Devereux, I told you about him on the phone. He's my..." Steve hesitated.

"Partner", Hank chimed in, taking the offered hand in his large paw and shaking it.

Interesting choice of words. Steve had something like 'boyfriend' on his tongue, but Hank had clearly put more thought into it, confirming their relationship in a way that Steve was still wary of.

"Pleasure to meet you, Mr Devereux", Steve's dad said.

"Call me Hank, please. And the pleasure's all mine", he said, finally releasing the hand after an awkwardly long handshake.

"Only if you call me 'dad', Hank. But Scott will do too. Come in guys"

Ever the joker, his dad. Scott stepped aside, letting Steve and his boyfriend enter the house. Steve had many fond memories of growing up in this home. He hoped Hank wouldn't spot any of the childhood photos hanging on the walls around the house. Giving his boyfriend an update on his acne situation in seventh grade was so not part of the deal.

Steve took Hank's hand and followed his dad into the dining room where his mom had clearly put an effort into setting up the plates and cutlery in a way that would probably do the staff at Downton Abbey proud.

A delicious smell of roasted chicken wafted in from the kitchen and Steve glanced from his dad to Hank, admiring how both guys seemed to be fighting with themselves to be the first to start off into the kitchen to help his mom with her chores. True gentlemen, it seemed. Scott didn't seem too eager to let Hank win that particular race.

"I'll gladly give Ms Hart a hand, if that's fine with you, Scott?", he said with that typical smirk that Steve came to like so much about him. Dad was clearly uncomfortable letting Hank storm into the kitchen like Prince Charming, but Steve knew that his father hardly ever lent his mom a hand in there anyway. And judging by the few times Scott had cooked for the family, it was clearly better this way.

Hank didn't wait for an answer and headed into the kitchen, where his mom was happily cooking away, dishes clanking merrily.

Steve looked at his dad, a smile on his face. "What do you think about him, dad?"

Scott smiled uncomfortably. "I'm sure he's nice, son, but he's probably my age. Isn't that kinda awkward?"

Steve raised his eyebrows. Of course, coming out as gay had already been hard to stomach for his dad. Certainly having an older boyfriend was another thing he had never imagined for his son.

"Awkward? No. I like experienced men", he smiled in response, watching how Scott squirmed at his words.

A sudden crash from the kitchen had both guys raise their heads. The  silence that followed the noise was terrifying enough that Steve and his dad almost fell over their feet to get to the kitchen.

Steve took in the shattered soup bowl, its content pooling on the floor among shards of procelain. Hank and his mom were staring at each other, unaware of the mess at their feet. Hank finally broke eye contact and looked over at Steve, a pained expression of uncertainty on his face.

Wordlessly, he grabbed a towel and knelt on the floor, sweeping up as much liquid as the thin cloth would hold. Mom would still stare at him, eyes wide in shock, her frozen hands finally moving to cover her mouth, as if she had to swallow a scream of pain. Tears started flowing down her cheeks and she turned toward the window, hands still closed over her lips, while Hank silently mopped the floor, only getting up to wring out the cloth in the sink before returning to his knees and continuing his task.

A cold shiver ran down Steve's spine. Scott walked over to mom.

"What happened, Sarah? Darling, are you alright?"

Mom just shook her head and squeezed her eyes closed, suppressing a sob. Steve looked down at his boyfriend. Hank had managed to clear the floor as best as he could and returned the towel to the sink. The defeated expression on his face scared Steve more than his crying mother looking out of the window. When had the day gone to shit like that?

"I better be going", Hank said quietly, turning around and walking toward the entrance, leaving Steve behind, stunned and speechless.

"Going?" Mom turned around, puffy eyes red and shiny, her makeup smeared across her cheek. "You're going nowhere, Hank. Not before you explain what business you have with my son!"

She ended the sentence in a shrill yell, freezing everyone's movement in the room. Hank turned around, looking at mom with the same defeated look that Steve had never seen on him before. He hated that look.

"I didn't know...", was all he said.

"Damn right, you didn't know, you scum!", she screamed.

"Mom, what's..?" Hank's hand on his arm stilled Steve. An imperceptible shake of his head told Steve not to intervene.

Sarah stormed over, clutching at Hank's hand and tearing it away from Steve's arm.

"Don't you dare touch him! How dare you come back like this? I worked so hard when you were gone doing *your thing*, how dare you come here and expect me to wait on you", she cried. Scott tried to pull her away, but she wouldn't budge.

Steve was shocked when he saw tears on Hank's face.

"Sarah, I was nineteen. I know I was a jerk. I'm so sorry." Steve did a double take. Could it be? His boyfriend was his mother's ex-boyfriend from like decades ago? What were the odds?

"I didn't mean to leave you like this, but I wasn't made for marriage and all that shit that you dreamed of. I didn't want to disappoint you", he explained. "I realized I was gay and I spent most of my life after I left you with a great guy who passed away a few years ago. I swear I didn't mean to hurt you." Tears rolled down his cheek.

Steve wondered if other families also faced tragedies like this when their sons introduced their boyfriends. No, that was clearly his type of luck.

"I didn't know I would one day meet your son and fall in love again after all these years. Please don't judge me for being in love, Sarah", he pleaded, taking a step closer. Mom paled, looking at Steve and Hank in shock.

"In...? You gotta be kidding me, Hank. You stay away from him!", she screamed, out of her mind.
Hank looked at her blankly.
"Why? Come on, Sarah, you're bigger than this", he scowled, clearly annoyed. He stepped closer, putting an arm around Steve's waist.
"Get away from him!" Sarah grabbed Hank's arm and yanked him away from Steve. Hank looked to Scott for help, but dad just stood there, mouth gaping open wide. Hank carefully freed his arm from mom's death grip and put some distance between himself and her.
"Why?! I love him", he repeated agitatedly, slowly losing his nerve. Steve wanted to reach out for him, but was afraid of his mother's wrath if he took a step closer to his lover.

"Don't you see? He's your son, you pervert!" The wheels in her head must have been turning like hell now, because she dropped on a kitchen stool and rested her head on her crossed arms, burying her face, for once quiet and subdued.

Steve felt his face flush while he witnessed Hank's complexion reach a similar shade of white as his mother's as their eyes met, their hearts racing wildly, chests heaving.

Scott used the sudden silence to pour himself a Scotch, wisely taking three more glasses out of the cupboard and filling them with amber liquid.

"To the family", he said, shaking his head incredulously, and swallowed his drink in one go. "And the bodies in our basement"

Steve stepped closer to Hank, but the man backed away, raising his hands as if Steve carried a contagious disease.

"Hank..." Steve took in the brown eyes, unshed tears shimmering inside them, the thick brown hair, so much like his own. Dad was blond and pale where Hank was dark and olive skinned - like Steve. It couldn't be, right?

Steve thought back to earlier in the day when he woke up enveloped by Hank's strong arms and beefy legs, enjoying the taste of his sleepy kiss, the stubble on his chin caressing his skin in just the right places to get things going, as Hank slid lower underneath the blanket.

Steve grabbed the offered glass on the counter and swallowed the Scotch down. Shit.

He watched Hank straighten up, his face now serious and stony. He cleared his throat.

"Sarah, I swear I didn't know. This is not the time to ask why you never informed me about this, but let me assure you, I will stay away from Steve and I'm sorry about the trouble I caused. I didn't mean for this to happen" He willed Sarah to look at him, but she kept her face buried in the crook of her arms. A short glance in Steve's direction told him everything he needed to know. It was over.

"Steve, I'm sorry." He didn't come closer. Didn't give him a hug or offer a smile. He just turned around and left, closing the door softly behind him. Steve looked back at his parents, his mom still sobbing quietly on the table and Scott filling another glass with Scotch.

All he had wanted was for his folks to meet his boyfriend. But somehow he ended up with two dads and a mom who was his boyfriend's ex.

With a slight shake of his head, Steve knew he was in deep shit.

Sunday, July 17, 2016

Sam Collins (Part 6)

A sudden crash woke him. He opened his eyes and the memories of the previous night returned full force. Grabbing the empty bed beside him he lifted his head to scan his apartment. Where the fuck was Sam?

"Paul?", a quiet voice called out from the small bathroom. Paul immediately jumped off the bed, taking the few steps to the small door in one leap. He stopped at the closed door, listening.

"Can I come in?", he asked, listening for any signs of struggle inside.
"Uh hu", Sam sighed.
Opening the door slowly, he found the guy sitting in the shower tray, naked. He lowered himself and touched his shoulder.
"Are you okay? Have you hit your head?", he asked, rising his hands to wander over Sam's temple, feeling for dents or wounds, but not finding any.
"I.... I went to the toilet", Sam said, resting his head against the cold white shower tile. Paul looked at him, dumbfounded.
"So?"

Sam looked at him for a second before lowering his eyes and flushing slightly. "I'm bleeding..."
Paul's mouth formed a surprised "Oh", before lifting his hand to cover it. He looked around the small bath and spotted a cloth lying beside the sink.
"May I see?"

Sam lifted his head, a defeated expression on his face, his features contorted by pain. He nodded. Paul grabbed the man's bicep and lifted him to full height in the small shower stall.
The guy was still weak from the drug. What was that shit?

"Can you stand on your own? Grab my neck for support." Paul deliberately did not shrug out of his muscle shirt and tested the water, making sure that it was warm, before aiming the spray at Sam's muscled backside. Why had he turned the guy down yesterday? He could have spared him this shit. But then, Sam hadn't exactly been a gentleman in that bar and Paul had had his share of assholes in his life. Not even a pair or pretty eyes and rock hard abs would have convinced him to start playing the game once again. He knew damn well why it was better not to get intimate with anyone.

His heart reached out for Sam when he heard the guy wince in his arms and felt the grip tighten on his neck, as Paul rinsed the ass crack thoroughly, using the cloth to softly wipe it clean. The tissue came back red. Damn! He hoped it wasn't a deep fissure. Putting a suture there was something that even a seasoned army guy like him didn't want to think about. Especially by those assholes in that joke of a hospital.

Sam breathed heavily at his side, his heart beating against Paul like a jackhammer.  He switched off the water and began rubbing the guy dry with a fresh towel, making sure not to rip open the wound down there with his movements.

"I need to put a salve on there to disinfect it, okay?" Paul grabbed Sam's chin, looking into his moist eyes. He was clearly way too macho to allow himself to cry in front of another man, but Paul could tell that his pain was intense. He nodded.

Paul didn't bother to help him put on clothes and directed him toward the bed where he lowered him on his belly. He went back to the bath and found a medical salve in his mirror cabinet. The tube wasn't expired, thank God!
Returning to Sam's side, he uncapped the tube and warmed the salve between his fingers. This shit felt like lube, but this was an entirely different situation, sadly. Paul looked at the muscled guy in his bed and smiled to himself. If only...

He settled between Sam's legs and started rubbing the salve generously into his crack, working it deeper with his fingers. Sam winced when Paul crooked his fingers to feel the fissure at the rim of his entrance. It wasn't too big, so it might heal by itself. "Are you okay with me doing this?", he said.

Sam pressed his head into the mattress, a grunt showing his consent. Paul frowned. He withdrew his finger, put more salve on it and returned it, this time caressing the inner walls of Sam's channel more deeply, until both knuckles vanished inside the man. Sam sighed. Maybe this wasn't so bad. Paul felt brave enough to brush his fingertip across the sensitive bundle of nerves inside Sam and he felt the man tremble under his touch.

"Still okay?" Paul carefully withdrew his finger, only to sink it into Sam's depth once more, making sure not to put any pressure on the opening to prevent the fissure from tearing up again. But this was enough stimulation to make Sam breathe heavier. Sam grunted, fisting the bedsheet.  "Uh hu."

Paul withdrew the finger once more, clapping Sam's inner thigh playfully. "Come on, turn around."
Sam lifted his head, watching Paul warily, his glassy eyes big as saucers. "Why?"
He didn't wait for an answer, though, and rolled slowly onto his back, both legs spread to keep Paul within them.

Paul looked at the hardening cock in front of his face, framed by a neatly trimmed bush of hair, the foreskin pealing back slowly, as the cock rose to its full size. He licked his lips.

"Just wanna make you feel good. You okay with that?" He met Sam's motionless stare, waiting for him to say yes or no. When Sam stared mutely at him, Paul took that as a yes and slowly worked his finger back into the moist hole and blew softly across the glistening head, the slit already moist with pre-cum.

He found the tender spot inside Sam's body and watched Sam jerk his head back in pleasure, before he closed his mouth around his cock and swallowed him down to the root. Damn, he hadn't done porn for nothing. You either could deep throat a cock of this size or you couldn't. Paul was fortunate enough to be gifted with this talent and felt Sam wreathe underneath him.

Sam lifted his hip off the bed to reach deeper into Paul's throat. Despite Sam's bad condition and the drug still flooding his system, it only took Paul a few thrusts and wicked twists of his tongue before Sam bucked heavily against the intruding finger caressing his prostate and he sent endless spurts of cum down Paul's throat, loud moans filling the room.

When Sam was done, Paul released the cock from his throat and felt Sam's pounding heartbeat with his lips still closed around the shaft. It's been so long since he had last tasted a man. Paul swallowed gratefully and released the cock with an obscene sound, kissing Sam's abs and withdrawing his finger for good. He slid up the bed and rested next to Sam's heavily breathing body.

"Thank you", Sam said, his breath finally slowing down. Paul looked at him with a crocked smile and pulled the cover over Sam's naked body.
"Don't mention it. Go back to sleep, Sam"

Paul rested against the pillow and closed his eyes, hoping to catch a couple more hours of sleep before the sun rose. He listened to Sam's breathing evening out and felt Sam's fingers close around his hand right before he fell asleep.

Sunday, July 10, 2016

A Dark Farewell

It was not the sound of soft waves crashing on the shore that woke me, but the salty water lapping against my face. I opened my eyes, feeling the sudden cold in my limbs. I lifted myself up, removing my chest from the water surrounding me. A strange numbness in my tummy reminded me that I was obviously not old enough to drink that much rum if it knocked me out cold and left me sleeping in the harbor of my hometown, Penzance. At least I think it must have been rum. I do not actually remember enough of last night to pin my unfortunate situation solely on rum. Good thing the tide was not coming in yet or I might have drowned. Mother would kill me if she knew. Spitting out what felt like a handful of sand, I slowly got on my two feet and removed several long blades of seaweed from my well worn and now salt stained, wet clothes. I hated when people in town called me a sea rat, but today I looked the part.


My blond hair hung into my eyes and even though I dreamed of eventually sporting a thick beard like the elderly sailors I knew from the docks, my chin was only covered with soft down, testament to my being only 17 years of age. Still, my poor excuse of a beard stuck wetly to my skin.


Rubbing the dried sand off my cheeks, I trotted out of the sandy beach near the main port and slowly headed towards home. Dark clouds filled the sky as I made my way to the 'Jolly Seagull', the inn my mother and I ran on our own ever since father, a fisherman, went out to sea and never returned after a stormy night. I blinked when rain started pouring down, washing the salt from my hair into my eyes. I opened the door to our inn, finding it dark and unusually quiet for an early evening on a weekday.

"Mother?"

I stepped into the main hall that housed several large wooden tables, carefully arranged in a crescent, so the big fireplace in the midst of the room would heat every single patron, no matter where they sat.

Tonight, there was no fire, though. A cold gush of wind sent a shiver down my spine. Someone had left a window open and the cold Atlantic current began to howl around the house, droplets of rain falling from the window onto the dark wooden floor. I ran to the other side of the room and closed the window.


Watching the rain fall heavily against the colored glass, I turned my head and saw a trickle of water on the floor leading towards the kitchen. The door was opened but I couldn't see inside, so I followed the watery trail before me.

When I opened the kitchen door fully, a lightning illuminated the large kitchen and I jerked back in shock.


My mother sat at the kitchen table in the dark, hands folded and staring blankly at the wall. When she saw me enter, she turned her head to me and smiled tiredly.

"Where have you been? You missed dinner", she said quietly.

It looked like I had missed a whole lot more. Not only had mother obviously cleaned all dishes and cutlery by herself, had managed to get all patrons into their beds before eleven o'clock and had even sweeped the main room, a task usually assigned to me after I had persistently convinced every single patron to take their bottles of rum with them to their rooms so mother could close up.


Tonight, though, she had managed on her own. I felt ashamed. Wanting to be a good son I always made sure to assist her whenever I could. She forbade me to become a fisherman afraid I would share my father's fate, so I knew the inn was to be my future. I did not mind. I liked the inn and my quiet life in town. Only some nights, when I found myself staring out of the little round window of the alcove I called my room, I wondered what it would be like to travel the seas and sail to different and wondrous places like the many ships I saw below, in the port of Penzance.


Tonight when I looked out of the window I only saw a dark veil of rain and felt the storm trying to reach through the glass to make me shiver in my old blanket, as I sat huddled on my bed. Terrible dreams tormented my sleep. Dark memories of a stormy night, high waves rocking the ground under my feet, my mother's cries in the darkness. I jerked awake and sat up, staring out to sea. Dark thoughts twisted my mind and not quite asleep, but certainly not awake either, I more felt than saw dark shapes appear on the unruly sea, moving with the waves like seafoam washing ashore. The shapes took form on the sand and began to walk towards the sleeping town, as I stared out of my tiny window, eyes wide in terror, sweat dripping down my face and the terrible stench of my own fear creeping into my nose.


Just when I was sure I heard a loud scratching sound on our door, a lightning unveiled a glimpse of a huge sailing vessel approaching the harbor on the wild and stormy sea. Could it be? A ship finding our harbor safely in a storm of this magnitude?


The scratching sound again, this time it was sharper, like a blade cutting on glass. Was someone trying to break into the inn? My eyes were glued to the enormous sails, blown up like huge wings on a gigantic bird in the midst of the thunderstorm above Penzance.


I witnessed more dark shapes appear in port, only this time they were not vague shadows, but sailors of flesh and blood who tried to find their way from the harbor toward the 'Jolly Seagull'. I squinted my eyes, trying to see the vessel in port more clearly. Was that a pirate's flag flying on top? I was scared of the dark shadows roaming the streets and scratching against our windows, but I knew that pirates would prove to be a more real and more urgent danger to my mother and me.


A loud knock on the door sent me out of my stupor. This was real.

No ghost trying to seek entry, but - God be willing - paying patrons.


I stumbled downstairs in my bedclothes and met my mother at the entrance. She looked at me warily as she opened the door. A group of dark men stood before us, rain dripping heavily onto their leather booths. The tallest of them looked down at us menacingly, opening his arms wide to include his fellow mates.

"Good evening, woman", he spared me a glance "and lad. Any dry rooms for my men and me and a bottle of rum to warm our tired bones?"

His voice was thick as gravy, echoing through the empty hall behind us. I looked at my mother and saw the same question in her eyes that I meant to ask her. Could we trust them?


A small bag of coins rattling in the stranger's hand in front of us answered the question for us.

Opening the door wide, my mother invited the sailors in and distributed blankets to them right after she ordered me to stoke the fire and bring bottles of rum from the cellar. The empty hall filled quickly with loud and boisterous sailors of all ages and ethnicities. To say I was not fascinated by them would have been a lie.


Tales and jokes were exchanged in various languages and the few I did understand took me to far away and exotic places I knew I would never ever be able to go.


"What about you, lad? Anyplace you wanna go? You're old enough to join a crew, you know?"

The melodious accented voice addressing me belonged to a young crewman, probably only a few years older than myself, whom I had noticed staring at me at several occasions when I went around to refill the men's tankards.


I looked into the brown eyes in the olive skinned man's handsome but weathered face in front of me. His short black beard was a stark contrast to his white teeth when he smiled friendly at me.


"I'm not a sailor. There's places I'll likely never get to see", I said warily, hoping to end the discussion by giving the man more rum to drown.


"Doesn't answer my question, lad", he gestured to the seat next to his, willing me to sit down with him. He looked somehow polished, so unlike the other sailors who seemed to swear and burp more often than they exchanged a proper word with each other, filling the room with their laughter instead.

I took the offered seat, feeling uncomfortably warm this close to the open fireplace.

"I'm running the inn with my mother. I cannot leave to see the world", I explained slowly, wondering what the man expected me to say.



He bumped his shoulder into mine and I jerked back, surprised at the sudden affection. A sweet spice of cinnamon, rum and the man's sweat tickled my nose. A scent that was not entirely unpleasant at all. He pushed his tankard aside and unscrolled a map on the table in front of us. I had rarely seen a real map this close. Usually sailors who owned them did not care to share these treasures with a lundlubber such as myself.


I vaguely recognized the shapes of England and the Mediterranean sea on the hand drawn map, but beyond that my eyes only found names that I had not even heard of before.

The man pointed at a few small dots somewhere in what I assumed was the Atlantic ocean.

"This is where I come from. The place I call home", he said. I could feel his eyes on me as I perused the map. Squinting my eyes I tried to read the letters surrounding the small islands his finger was pointing to.

"Great... Isle of Dogs?", I read aloud, wondering if I interpreted the winged handwriting correctly.

He nodded, smiling. His accent grew more pronounced when he answered.

"You got that right. The Great Isle of Dogs. Gran Canaria. A beautiful place. I wish I could show it to you", he whispered in my ear.


Blood rushed up and heated my face. The man's warm breath tickled my ears. What was wrong with me? I should not let a stranger's friendly banter affect me like this.

I picked up the bottle of rum and motioned to get up, when the man's warm hand closed around my wrist.

"My name is Miguel. What's yours?" I looked at him, his suntanned skin wrinkling around the curve of his mouth, highlighting his bright smile.

"Jack", I responded, rooted to the spot by dark eyes I could only describe as beautiful, even though they so clearly belonged to a man.



"Jack. If you change your mind, find me", he said, shortly before he turned away to laugh at a crude joke someone had told on the table next to him.



His unusual offer haunted me until all patrons were finally satisfied and strolled off to their rooms, allowing mother and me to fall tiredly into our beds as well.


Again my sleep was disturbed by dark images - memories? - taking me back to a stormy night out at sea. Was I reliving my father's demise? Was I witnessing him drown in the sea when the cries I heard over the wind so clearly belonged to my mother and me in my dream?


I tossed and turned in my bed, soaked in cold sweat. A soft light illuminated my nightmare, chasing away the fearful images.

Miguel's voice spoke to me in my dream, urging me to follow him and to leave Penzance behind. Sudden guilt started to devour me. Was I really considering the offer? No. I would never leave mother behind. Not after she had to say a sea-bound farewell to father that had left her in tears. I just could not.


Tired and drenched in sweat, I awoke the next morning. Our guests were still sound asleep, all but a certain Spaniard who sat in the common room, nursing a cup of tea, delicate china that looked out of place in the big hands of a sea wolf like him.


"Good morning, Jack", I half expected the man to say when I descended the stairs, but it was my mother greeting me from the kitchen door.

"Be a good lad and hop down to the pier, see if we left the ale there. I cannot find it in the cellar", she said.


Miguel nodded to me with a sad smile on his face, chewing on a piece of bread. "Mind if I come with you?", he murmured around the bread, sounding wary as if I would deny him his wish.


I shook my head and slipped into my jacket. Miguel was at my heels when I went down to the harbor where our small boat, the 'Sweet Melody" lay. I listened to his steady footfalls behind me, not realizing that I stopped at an empty pier until Miguel cleared his throat.


"What are we looking for again? Ale?", he said, looking around.

I could not believe my eyes. Right here in front of me, where our 'Sweet Melody' was always tied, I saw nothing but brackish water lapping against the pier.


"Our boat...it's gone", I said, panic rising in my voice. I started to tremble, dark memories of a stormy night once again flashing in my mind.

I clawed my arms into a threadbare shirt, surprised to find Miguel's arms around me, his mouth mumbling soothing words in a strange language into my ears. I hugged him back, trying to swallow down my sudden terror.



"Our boat is gone. We need it to get supplies. Mother wanted to sell it to purchase a horse and a cart so we wouldn't have to travel on the water, but it was father's", I rambled, desperately wanting to stop telling the man all this. The man whose strong arms were wrapped around me as if he were soothing a trembling child. I freed myself from his embrace and looked into his sad eyes, hoping to find answers there.


"Maybe the storm carried it out to sea", he said quietly.

I nodded, turning back to walk up to the inn, fearing to break the news to mother. I felt Miguel a step behind me. Who was this mate? Why was he so friendly with me, consoling me as if he knew more about what had happened to our boat than he let on?


Mother busied herself in the kitchen as usual, not sparing me a glance when I walked in.

"Ma, the boat is gone", I said, tensing up. No need to delay the inevitable. She looked up from slicing some onions and shook her head.



"Nonsense, I just saw it at the pier a moment ago. This nice gentleman was kind enough to bring me the ale that took you an hour to fetch, boy!", she scolded.

I looked at the tall man sitting on a table nearby, nodding to me as we spoke. I took him for the captain but I had troubles determining the men's rank on this peculiar ship. I glanced at Miguel who watched the exchange warily.



"How is it, lad? Wouldn't you want to join me jolly crew? We're two hands down on our ship. What do ya say? A guy scrubbing the planks may easily end up captain rather sooner than later on my ship. And wouldn't that make your momma proud?", the man said, his voice booming through the kitchen.

"A young strong lad will make it big on my ship. That much is certain. Ain't that right, Spaniard?", the man raised his tankard towards Miguel.



"Aye, captain. Truer words were never spoken", Miguel replied, subdued. He lowered his head and stepped out of the room. My heart ached to know what weighed so heavily on his heart.



"Whaddaya say? Jack, right? Will you join me on our voyage? Bid your momma farewell as a boy and return to her a man commanding his own crew?" It sounded intriguing. I knew how officers used to lure sailors to join their crew and fill all required hands on deck, but never before had I heard words more alluring than the captains. Still, looking at my mother working to prepare luncheon for our patrons, I once again reminded myself of my duties.

"I appreciate your offer, sir, but my place is here, running this inn by my mother's side", I said and left the room, going about my daily chores.



I did not see Miguel during the rest of the day. I cleaned the floor, helped my mother with the laundry and washed the dishes as every night, when I heard another thunderstorm approach. The windows once again rattled in their hinges and thick veils of rain cascaded down on our roof, each drop hollering through the inn like a thousand hammers drilling on tiny nails.



Finally done for the day, I retreated to my chamber, washing myself and lighting a candle, hoping to fend off the humid cold that filled my tiny room during nights like this.



Sleep came easily to me, but the terrifying images found me again, clouding my dreams with cold winds and the sound of a breaking hull, water lapping at my feet. A lightning parted the sky but all I could see was debris floating around me and greedy blades of seagrass clawing at me, tugging at my feet until my lungs burned from the lack of air.



A soft knock on the door startled me awake. I blinked, trying to slow my breathing. No one ever disturbed me at this time of night, so I wrapped the blanket tightly around my naked body and opened the door.



Miguel stood there, clad in only linen pants, his feet and upper body bare and shivering in the soft candlelight.



I stared at him, dumbfounded. His chest was covered with a dark mat of fine hair, framing nipples even darker than the sun kissed skin around them. I ached to touch the black hair, a sign of his manhood, wondering if it would feel soft, like my own hair did or if it was wiry. Miguel followed my gaze, his face lighting up, a smile revealing white teeth clattering in the darkness.



"Can I... come in?", he said.

I opened the door wide and let him enter, aware of the poor impression my tiny bedroom housing only my unmade bed and literally nothing else must have made to him. But then, he lived on a ship, so he would be used to small spaces. He sat down on the bed, crossing his muscled arms in front of his chest, trying not to shiver from the cold. I noticed how the hairs on his arms resembled those on his chest - and wondered why I cared. What was wrong with me to even contemplate things like that? He trembled visibly and sucked in air as if to show off his clattering teeth on purpose.



Unsure of the protocols of hospitality for such strange nightly encounters, I sat down next to him, putting my warmed blanked around his shoulder, doing my best to remain covered and decent with my other hand. Miguel leaned into me, his cheek only inches from my face. I could smell his hair, an intriguing scent like a day on the market where spices from all over the world mixed in the salty air. His short dark beard rasped against my nose.

"Thank you", he said, keeping his arms gracefully crossed. God knew, if he opened them he would clearly brush my naked body and discover the unseemly excitement I so desperately tried to conceal. In God's name, when had I become a wanton - craving a man's touch?



"You're welcome", I stammered. "What are you doing here? In my chamber?"

He looked at me and I believed to find sadness in his eyes again. He swallowed heavily before he spoke.


"Tomorrow the "Soaring Eagle" will depart. I'm leaving. I... was hoping I could convince you to join me after all?", he said, opening his arms slowly, rubbing the heels of his hand against the soft hairs on my belly.

"I can't", I said, my voice breaking. "You know, I can't." I felt tears in my eyes. I didn't want him to leave me behind with my mother's sadness for the rest of my life. He sighed.

"Then this is goodbye" He closed the distance between our faces and kissed me softly on the mouth, my hand falling away from the blanket to embrace his shoulder, drawing his warm body closer to mine. I never believed in heaven or any of the places the priests spoke of, thinking them inventions of clerics to explain things humans are not meant to understand, but in this moment I saw a glimpse of paradise, as I felt Miguel's beard scrape softly against my lips, his tongue chasing mine, his taste intoxicating and sweet.


He lowered me on the small bed, his mouth traveling across my neck, his beard mingling with the soft hair on my chest, as his tongue caressed my nipple, sending a jolt of pleasure to my growing member, pressed between our heated bodies. Miguel caressed my arms with his fingers while his tongue reached my belly button and wandered lower, tickling the hair above my groin while his beard caressed the sensitive head poking at his cheek. I tried to stop him, but found myself rooted to the spot when his lips closed around my member, his burning tongue peeling my foreskin away to lap at the sensitive head beneath, the warm sensation sending shivers all over my body. I knew what would follow soon, having relieved myself often enough in the way that men are wont to do.



But experiencing this growing sensation while Miguel's beautiful mouth was wrapped around my hardened member was more than my inexperienced body could take. Biting on my tongue to swallow my cry of pleasure, I pumped jets of warm semen into Miguel's lavish mouth, not surprised when he hummed, satisfied, and swallowed as much as he could.



He carried a strange taste on his tongue when he released my member and slid higher to capture my mouth in a hungry kiss. I wrapped my arms around him and drifted off to sleep, for some reason certain that I would not be bothered by bad dreams tonight. Miguel caressed my skin and watched over me, guarding my sleep like a dark angel.



I woke up alone. Sitting up so quickly I almost knocked my head on the low ceiling, wondering if the nightly encounter had been a dream after all.



I felt something in my hand. A leather band with a small seashell attached to it. Miguel's necklace. It wasn't a dream. And I slept through his goodbye. Feeling cold and empty without his arms around me, the thought of never seeing him again scared me to the bone. I looked out of my window. The 'Soaring Eagle' was still in port, so it wasn't too late. The large white sail, drawn up to keep the ship safely tied to the pier promised adventure and excitement. I couldn't wait to board the vessel!



Barely bothering to slip into my trousers, I ran downstairs. My mother frowned at my bare chested appearance, but the captain smiled at me. He was still here, talking to my mother.



"Momma, will you give me permission to leave with the captain?" Did I really say this out loud? I looked down, didn't want to see the disappointment in her eyes.

I flinched when momma stepped forward, half expecting her to slap me, but finding her hug me instead.



"I love you, Jack. You need to find your own way, I know that", she said as she embraced me. Tears fell down my cheek as I hugged her back.

"Goodbye momma", I said, crying.

When I turned around, Miguel stood in the doorway, wearing his crewmate outfit and saluting me with his rolled up map.

"Time to go, Jack", he smiled.



Walking side by side to the pier, I did not question why Miguel took my hand in his, guiding me to the "Soaring Eagle". We must have looked like children, but none of the crewmen made any of the crude jokes I came to expect.



When I reached the deck of the beautiful sailing vessel, a sudden flood of memories brought me to my knees. I saw my mother float in the angry sea in front of me, her hair crashing wildly about her head, like a mermaid's, lifeless eyes staring back at me. I tried to reach her, but my feet were tangled in seaweed and I couldn't break free. Observing my short life in front of my eyes, I knew this was the end. Planks and debris floated in the water around me, bound to be swept ashore as flotsam, just like our dead bodies would be.



Miguel's hand on my shoulder steadied me.

"It is time, Jack", he whispered in my ear. I struggled back to my feet, turning around to look at the lonely dark 'Jolly Seagull' in the distance, willing my mother to leave the inn and join us.



"Mother...", I stammered helplessly, tears falling from my eyes.

"You will meet her again someday. The captain will not rest until she too will join us on our journey", he said in his softly accented voice. I drew him closer to me, feeling the strong presence of his body, grounding me on the unsteady deck.



The 'Soaring Eagle' was untied and began to set sail, leading its big hull out of the harbor of Penzance. Miguel steered me to the railing, pointing at somewhere in the distant blue sky.



"Are you ready to let go, love?", he whispered. Taking my hand in his, I realized that I was. Nothing held me back in that lonely inn where my mother's ghost needed more time to find its way home. However, I was ready for my journey. I tilted my head up and kissed Miguel, his lips parting in welcome.



"Stay with me?", I whispered, searching his brown eyes, sparkling with what I hoped to be his love for me, as the 'Soaring Eagle' rocked on the ever growing waves of the Atlantic. He smiled and put his lips close to my ears as he hugged me tightly to his chest.

"Always", he promised and together we sailed into the blue.

Saturday, July 9, 2016

Hope



Something gripped his hand in the dark abyss of his sleeping mind, jerking him awake. He blinked a few times, his eyes focusing on a blurry spot hovering above him, the cloudy shape sharpening slowly until it revealed a man in a police uniform, wiping away tears from his face while his other hand was wrapped around Matej's fingers. It wasn't just any police man, though.

He moved his head, blinking. "Eric?"

The man standing by his bed looked surprised, his grip tightening.

"Matej, you're awake", a hand wiping across Eric's face again, frantically removing all traces of tears from his cheek. "How do you feel?"

Matej tried to move, but couldn't bring his muscles to comply.

"I don't feel a fucking thing...", he whispered hoarsely. "Where am I?"

Eric pulled a chair closer and sat down.

"You're in hospital. You got stabbed. Do you remember?"

Stabbed? A weird throbbing in his lower abdomen gave Matej an uncomfortable feeling of Déjà vu.

"I remember a guy. He bumped into me. And blood. I survived?" Shit. Too many meds. Dumb question.

"You survived", Eric confirmed and gripped his hand tighter.

Matej watched him closely. His peaked cap resting in his lap, Eric's hair was wild as if he'd run his hands through it several times.

"I'm sorry I scared you. How's Sarah?", he said, stroking his thumb over the back of Eric's hand.

"She's alright. Sitting outside wanting to come in. She found you at school, unconscious, so she's still shaken." Eric shrugged and glanced toward the door.

Matej nodded.

"Bring her in. She shouldn't be scared for me", he said.

Eric reluctantly let go of Matej's hand and went to the door, opening it and gesturing to someone.

"He's awake, hon. Wanna come in?"

Sarah appeared in the door, her cheeks puffy and red, eye lids swollen worse than her dad's. She slowly approached the bed. Matej lifted his hand, surprised to see an IV tube sticking out of his arm.

"Sarah. How are ya, princess? A bit much action for us recently, huh?", he whispered.

The girl came closer and took his hand. "You're alive", she stated, her lips trembling.

"I think so", he smiled.

Eric appeared behind his daughter, resting his hands on her shoulders.

"The doc says you'll need to go slow for a while. No bodybuilding competitions for you anytime soon, young man", he joked.

Matej laughed, the motion sending a jolt of pain through his body. He grimaced.

"If only..", he said eventually. "I'll have to make a call to my family. I don't have anyone in Vienna. I'll probably move back home for a while."

Eric gripped his hand again, squeezing it.

"You have us. You can stay at my place as long as you want." Matej read the message between the lines. He wasn't sure if he was ready to take a leap and trust someone this fast - let alone move in with a boyfriend he only recently met. And as an invalid on top.




"I don't want to be a burden...", he began when Sarah interrupted him.

"Please stay with us, Matt. Please don't go back home." Those huge eyes again. Like in a Disney cartoon. How could he ever deny her anything?

"I..."

"Please don't leave." Eric, spoken with intense urgency, had Matej lift his eyes to meet his. He didn't say anything else, didn't share his daughter's tendency to overemphasize things.

"Okay", he said quietly, feeling a weird tiredness again. Resting his eyes for a moment turned into a dreamless sleep so sound, he never heard the door when Eric shooed his daughter outside to give Matej some peace and quiet. Eric. His last thought before Matej once again drowned in darkness.

Friday, July 8, 2016

Darkness


A quiet morning at school left Matej idle and contemplating after Sarah had arrived at 8 and strolled to the second floor with only a sad nod in Matej's direction instead of her usual bubbly greeting.

She was mad at him. No doubt about it. He didn't need to know much about a young girl's mind to understand that finding him in bed with her father would not go over well with her. It wouldn't with any child, he figured. Bad enough to have her parents divorce, but her dad replacing her mother with a guy was a bit more than a ten year old could stomach.


Was Eric actually doing that? Expecting him to become his partner after just one date? Okay, maybe two, if you counted the awesome sex that their first encounter had led to.

Did Matej want that? Be a boyfriend? A partner? A second father figure to a young child? Jesus, that was a bit much to take in for a guy who never knew anything other than frantic moments of passion in some dark corner. He didn't want to remember Andrej. Especially not now. After all that time he still felt guilty having romantic feelings for a guy.


In a few minutes, Elementary School would have another break and students would rush towards the canteen, flooding the reception area like a tidal wave rushing in. He glanced at his watch. Usually, Sarah would spend five minutes by his side for idle small talk before returning to her classroom. He wasn't sure if the girl would show up today. And if she did what would he say? Sorry that I'm sleeping with your dad? Not gonna happen.


He walked slowly towards the glass doors at the entrance, frowning at an usual exchange outside. A dark haired guy with olive skin and a slightly deranged look about him was talking to a group of 15 year olds right on the sidewalk outside the school.

The hairs on his neck stood up. The guy gave off a weird vibe. He was fidgeting slightly, Matej noticed when he stepped outside and approached the group.

"...any Americans in your school?", the stranger asked the children in accented English. The kids looked at each other, shrugging in confusion.

"Sure, we're an international school", a female Grade 10 student Matej didn't know by name answered.


"Hey!", he yelled, feeling his belt in a well trained reflex, the skin on his neck prickling when the hand grabbed thin air instead of a gun holster. Right, unarmed guard. Damn it!

The stranger - he was clearly Arabic - held up both hands in a soothing gesture.

"Alright, alright, no harm done, man", the guy said when Matej stepped into the circle and nodded to the students to walk back inside.

Turning to the man on the sidewalk he gestured toward him to walk on and leave the premises, but the man stood still when Matej walked up to him. Matej touched his shoulder and crowded the man, shoving him back to leave the entrance area of the school building.

The man bumped against him and smiled before turning around and walking away.

Matej followed him until he turned around the corner and entered a bus that just happened to arrive at this very second. Convenient. At least the asshole was gone. No harm done, but it still meant some paperwork. He neede to write a report and question the students about what the man had said to them. The whole standard procedure for such incidents. He should also give a description of the man to the police. Perhaps Eric could...

Matej scratched a sudden itch at his side. He pulled the glass door open and walked into the reception area when he noticed that his fingers came back wet. Wet and red. His eyes widened and he tried to make sense of it, looking down at his side.


"What was that all about out there?", Leo the receptionist said from behind his counter. Matej looked at his colleague who continued typing on his keyboard and then glanced over to the group of students who stood in a corner, chatting excitedly.


"Matt? What is that?" Sarah stood on the top stair and pointed toward the glass door. She did come. What did she say again? Matej turned around, a sudden pain in his side sending a blinding jolt through his body. A trickle of blood led from the glass door to the reception desk where he stood.

"Oh my God!", a girl screamed from the corner pointing at the growing stain on Matej's shirt, blood seeping through the tissue and pooling around his feet. Leo jumped up, looking over the desk at Matej's lower body. "What happened?!"

Matej felt cold all over. He gripped the desk with his left arm, his right hand pressing on his side.

"I think I got stabbed..", he whispered, sweat breaking out on his forehead. He sagged down on his knees, staring unbelievingly at a trace of blood on the reception desk. So much blood.

"Matt! Matt, please get up!" Sarah grabbed his cold hand. Feeling tired all of a sudden, Matej rested his head against the wood in front of his face. He needed to wait for help. Sarah's mouth moved, tears spilling from her widened eyes. Matej noticed how the girl suddenly loomed over him. Had he slipped to the floor? Leo appeared next to Sarah looking frantically at Matej, rearranging his numb limbs, settling him down on his back. Sarah held his hand tightly. She pressed the back of his hand against her tear stained face. Why couldn't he feel it? Why couldn't he move?

He was still contemplating these questions when darkness descended upon him and the world drowned in a sea of darkness.




***




"Sarah! What's wrong?"

Eric practically ran into the reception area, a growing sense of panic rising in his chest when he saw Sarah sit on a desk with the school's Social Emotional Support specialist holding her hand and talking to her in a soothing voice.

"Thank you for coming so quickly, Mr Maisano", the lady said, getting up, her eyes glancing at his blue police uniform and the white peaked cap he wore. He had even come in a police car, wanting to show up as quickly as possible when he got the call.

"Have you found out something this fast?", the guy from the reception area walked up to Eric, his hands gesturing excitedly in front of him. "Your colleagues just left a minute ago."

What the hell was going on? He looked back at his daughter. Her eyes puffy and wet.

"What happened, hon?", he knelt down and took her hands, ignoring the two adults vying for his attention.

"Mr Maisano, Sarah is in deep shock after having witnessed an attack against our security guard...", the lady began.

"Security... where's Matej?", he looked around, frantically searching for a familiar face.

"He's dead, daddy", Sarah cried, tears streaming down her face.

"He's not dead, Mr Maisano. At least he wasn't when the ambulance picked him up fifteen minutes ago. He's on his way to the hospital. He got stabbed outside the building." Eric didn't hear the Social Emotional Whatever lady. The world tilted and he had to grab the bannister to keep himself from sitting down on the stairs.

"He was so cold dad. His hands were so cold", Sarah cried. This was a nightmare. Had he gone to sleep and was imagining his worst fears come to life? Sarah. She was alright, wasn't she?

"Are you hurt, Sarah? Did someone hurt you?" He grabbed his daughter and lifted her up in his arms, holding her toward his chest. Shit, she was way too old and heavy for this. But holding her in his arms, feeling her tremble, grounded him.

"What hospital?", he asked the lady, swallowing down the bile in his throat.

"Lorentz Boehler. Your colleagues went with the ambulance. They wanted to question our guard when he woke up", she stammered.

Eric frowned at her words, flashing his teeth in an angry snarl.

"Matej. Your security guard's name is Matej!"

He let Sarah down and grabbed her hand, dragging her to the police car waiting outside, leaving a shocked emotional support specialist and a stunned receptionist behind.


Securing Sarah in the back seat of the car, he switched on the siren and hit the gas. Regulations be damned. He would find Matej and make things right again. He couldn't lose him. He just couldn't.




***

Monday, July 4, 2016

First Date

"That movie was awesome!!", Sarah squealed happily as they left the theatre lobby and stepped into the cool air of a summer evening in the city. "Can I get a bunny and name her Judy?"


Eric huffed and smiled at the big man walking quietly beside him. Matej met his gaze and rolled his eyes, laughing.

Eric couldn't get the man he had met at the Kaiserbrundl sauna a few days earlier out of his head. Matej had seemed like a gay men's walking wet dream when he entered the room where Eric had decided to wait and see who would approach him for sex. He had sure been desperate that night and wanted to make the most of it, since Sarah had stayed at a friend's place for a sleep over, leaving him a full night off. The first night for himself since Denise had left Sarah in his care and moved to New York to pursue her career. Not that he minded. Sarah was the most important person in his life and raising her was a privilege, not a responsibility.


That night, Matej had walked up to him and seduced him rather aggressively, wearing only a white towel around his waist, pressing his huge muscled frame against Eric's lithe body.


Thank God Sarah's constant babbling distracted him enough not to sport another hard-on just feeling the man laugh beside him.


Sarah tugged on Matej's hand and made him bend over so she could talk loudly into his ear.

"If daddy won't let me have a bunny, will you get me a fox, Matt?"

Matej laughed even harder, his deep voice rumbling in his chest.

"Most girls want ponies. You want a fox. You truly are special."


Eric's heart warmed. Matej was a security guard and obviously trained to intimidate, but while most kids at school were afraid of the brooding Slovenian, Sarah had an easy friendship going with him, asking him for advice and keeping him company during her breaks. Eric was so proud of her for taking the initiative to care.


Walking towards a McDonald's restaurant, Sarah dragged both guys inside, not even starting a discussion about whether or not they wanted to stop for a last burger on their way home.

"I hope you really don't have other plans tonight. Once Sarah gets going, it's hard to stop her", Eric said, sitting down opposite Matej. The man glanced around surreptitiously, checking out everyone sitting nearby. Eric smiled, wanting to tease him all of a sudden. Working in law enforcement, he knew how hard it was to switch off his cop instincts on his days off.

"Seen anything you like?"

Matej jerked back, looking into his eyes, his face flushing slightly at the implication.

"Sorry, some habits are hard to shake off", he explained. Eric smiled.

"Don't fret it. I'm quite bothered about this guy wearing a hunting knife on his belt myself", Eric pointed his chin towards a guy sitting behind Matej's back. Matej's eyes locked with his instead of turning around to check out the 'suspect'.

"You're watching my back?", he asked, suddenly more serious than Eric had expected. Putting an arm around Sarah's shoulder next to him, keeping her from jumping up and running to the counter by herself, he met Matej's intense stare.

"Always am. I'm a cop. You're security. It's two uniforms, but basically the same job."

Matej looked down, obviously unsure what to say. He fidgeted with the menu in front of him.

"Thank you for coming with us tonight. It means a lot to me. Especially since we're dragging our little princess here along", he nudged his daughter playfully. Sarah jerked her head up when she heard the word 'princess'. She beamed at Matej with a smile that so clearly mirrored Eric's own.

"Yeah, thanks for coming with us, Matt. It's real good to see ya outside of school too", she said.

Matej dropped the menu and smiled widely at Sarah.

"Thanks for inviting me, hon. I totally enjoyed the movie. I know, it's a kid's movie, but I found it pretty grown up too", Matej explained. Eric hardly remembered the movie at all, being constantly aware of the handsome man sitting next to him in the theater, their shoulders brushing in the dark. Eric had looked at Matej's profile from time to time, seeing the screen's light reflect in the man's eyes. Matej had turned his head in the dark and looked back at Eric, one corner of his mouth lifting in a crooked smile. Eric was too shy to take his hand in the dark and he was sure that a kiss was not appropriate with all the families and kids around them. But he had wanted it all so much. He didn't want to end the night with a burger now.


"Do you know what you want?" Sarah's question had both men stare at each other again before they shifted their attention to the girl.

Sarah held up the menu and waved it front of their faces.

"What burger are you having, Matt?", she asked.

Matej smiled and patted his tummy or - as Eric remembered only too well - the rock hard abs he carried under his T-shirt.

"I try not to eat too many carbs, so I'll pass, Sarah." The girl looked at him, confused. Then she put down the menu.

"I hate carbs too. Mom eats them all the time. She loves seafood", she said, looking over her shoulder at the counter, obviously anxious to finally get something to eat.

Eric groaned inwardly. Why did she have to bring up Denise? He hoped Matej wasn't easily intimidated, especially not by the mentioning of Eric's ex - his *female* ex.

"That's crabs, hon. Matej means carbs, which is short for carbohydrates", Eric explained, silently appraising Matej's toned body, his muscles covered by smooth, fat-free skin.

"Sugar. Carbs are sugar. They're almost everywhere and they're not good for you", Matej elaborated.

"So what are you having?", Sarah insisted, looking at both her companions.

"I'll get a salad. Since you're so hungry, young lady, I'm gonna get you something. What should it be?", he directed the question at Eric.

"A small chicken burger for her. That should be enough that late in the day", he said ruffling Sarah's air.

Matej smiled, supporting his weight on the restaurant chair, his biceps bulging in front of Eric.

"And what can I get you, Sir?", he said smugly.

Eric looked up at his companion, smiling widely at the polite gesture.

"Nothing for me, thanks. I was actually hoping to have a coffee with you at my place to end the night." He knew he sounded a bit desperate but he wasn't ready to part with Matej without having had a more personal talk with him than Sarah's presence currently allowed. Matej winked at him, his usually determined and serious expression turning soft with a shy smile.

"I'd love that."


They ended up sharing the salad, Eric gladly accepting Matej's offer of using his fork in a surprisingly unexpected display of domestic harmony, while trying to keep Sarah's greasy fingers from tugging at her dress. Eric finally caught her hands and wiped them with a napkin, disposing of the cardboard container and getting the unusual trio to leave the restaurant.


The short walk to Eric's apartment was spent in silence, Sarah clearly being on the verge of sleep while Eric used the narrow sidewalk as an excuse to bump into Matej now and then while navigating his tired daughter around lamp posts and mailboxes. Matej looked relaxed and happy and judging from the way Matej treated his baby girl, Eric knew that he didn't want to say goodbye to him anytime soon.


Closing the door of the apartment behind them, Matej stayed in the kitchen, sliding out of his shoes while Eric steered Sarah toward her bedroom getting her ready for bed. No night time story was necessary this time. Sarah quickly brushed her teeth, obviously glad to finally be able to drop into her bed. A rare sight for Eric, but he welcomed it tonight more than ever.


Tucking her into her blanket, Eric was surprised when Sarah raised her hand and smiled across his shoulder.

"Thanks for coming with us, Matt. Tonight was awesome!', she ended with an outstretched yawn.


Eric turned his head to find Matej leaning against Sarah's doorframe, his arms tucked into his pocket, the posture relaxed and intriguingly sexy.

"Thanks for having me, Sarah. Sleep well", he waved toward her bed, for some reason not stepping into the room.


Eric switched off the light and closed Sarah's door quietly, suddenly face to face with the man who had mesmerized him this whole evening.

Eric stopped inches from Matej's face, noting how the man did not step back, but accepted him within his personal space. Eric looked at his face closely. The dark beard shadow gave him a slightly Mediterranean look, but the short crew cut screamed military - or gay porn star. Eric couldn't decide which image he preferred. The tight black T-shirt hugged his wide frame, putting his nipples on display, a sight that aroused him. How come he hadn't noticed those nipples before? He ached to touch them, or even let his tongue caress them and taste Matej's skin.


It was obvious that Matej saw the interest in Eric's eyes, but he just smiled and finally stepped back, turning around towards the living room, his socked feet ghosting silently over the linoleum floor.

Eric followed him, wondering how the night would proceed, painfully aware that his daughter's room was just a few metres away, no matter *what* they would end up doing.


Matej sat down on the sofa, looking at the white carpet underneath the couch table, his toes curling in on the plush material, trying to grip it before uncurling them again in what seemed like a nervous gesture.

Eric sat down next to him, unsure if he was allowed to touch the man.

"Thanks for taking me with you. I really like Sarah. She's a great kid", Matej finally said, looking up at Eric to make a point before dropping his eyes again.

"That's nice, thanks. I was surprised to see you at Sarah's school. You know, she did tell me about that awesome 'bodyguard friend' of hers at school, but I never thought that it was you. I wish I had gotten to know you much earlier." Eric joined Matej in watching the carpet as if a movie was on display there.

"Would you have invited me if you had?", he asked.

"Sure. I wouldn't have dared to make a pass on you, though. Would you have told me you were gay?", Eric countered.

"Nuh-uh. Probably not. Would you?", Matej looked back up watching Eric's profile.

"Outing myself to my daughter's security guard from her private school? I'm a cop, but I guess I don't have that kind of balls", he laughed.

"Nothing wrong with your balls", Matej smiled and nudged Eric with his large shoulder. Glad that the ice was broken, Eric put a hand on the muscled thigh next to his. Matej responded to the touch by leaning in, bringing their heads closer together. Eric licked his lips, waiting for Matej's mouth to find his, but he Matej buried his face in the crook of his neck instead, breathing in his scent.

Eric put his arm around the man's neck, stroking the hair on his nape softly, waiting for Matej's next move.


He felt the hard muscles relax under his grip, until Matej put his arm on Eric's waist and melted against him, the smell of his skin and some masculine cologne mixing deliciously. Eric felt the soft rasp of the short stubble on Matej's head tickle his lips, as he whispered to the larger man in his arms.

"Would you like to stay here tonight?"


Matej tensed slightly, eye lids tickling Eric's neck. Instead of answering, he nodded slightly and Eric pushed him back on the couch, straddling him with his knees on both sides of Matej's massive thighs.

"Then let's take this to the bed." He watched Matej's eyes widen like a deer's in a headlight as he closed the distance and pressed their lips softly together, coaxing Matej's mouth to open up, finally tasting the man, tongues chasing each other until Eric got hold of Matej's and sucked it tenderly.

Matej's strong arms closed around him and he stroked Eric's back, hands travelling lower to cup his trim ass, pushing up slightly to bring their groins together.

Eric couldn't suppress a moan when he felt the sweet friction turning his cock hard within the confines of his jeans. He freed himself reluctantly from Matej's embrace and pulled the man up, steering him towards the bedroom, sliding his shirt over his head and opening the belt on his trousers. When the door closed behind them, he was surprised to find Matej shed the rest of his clothes immediately, standing fully naked and sporting a huge erection in his bedroom. Matej's eyes wandered over the photos on the wall - candid shots of both Eric and Denise, with the more recent ones also showing their beloved daughter, wide smiles plastered on their faces, conserving the happy family moments on Eric's bedroom wall. He cursed himself when he saw a shadow run over Matej's face and he noticed him turning away from the wall and sitting down on the bed instead of walking over to finish undressing Eric.


He slipped under the cover and waited, smiling at Eric who still stood frozen near the door, not yet believing that Matej, the star of his recent wet dreams had settled down in his bed.

Eric dropped his clothes rather unceremoniously and slipped into the bed next to Eric, switching off the light, hoping that the sudden darkness would also swallow all memories of Denise and help Matej enjoy their time together.


Matej scooted closer, his mouth once again finding Eric's neck, while his bulging arms caressed the furry chest and his massive thigh draped over Eric's legs, the knee bumping into his balls every now and then.


"Thank you", Matej whispered, but Eric began kissing his way down Matej's neck and chest, the muscular planes sporting soft stubble that scraped against his tongue. Not naturally smooth after all, Eric mused. He found the stiff nipple in the darkness and sucked it into his mouth, coaxing a loud moan out of his lover.


Aroused by the response of Matej's pliant body under his mouth, he slid on top of Matej, who spread his legs wide to make room for him, hooking his massive legs around his waist.


Eric slid lower, feeling his cock slide against Matej's, their pre-cum pooling on Matej's stomach, until Eric's cock slid underneath Matej's soft balls, seeking friction on the skin underneath. Matej's legs pressed Eric's body closer, his legs opening up to welcome Eric's cock. When Matej's intention dawned on Eric, he stilled, trying to read Matej in the darkness.


"Are you sure?", he whispered, burying his face in Matej's neck, planting feathery kisses on the sensitive skin under his ears, his lips relishing the sharp stubble on the man's throat.

"Uh-hu", Matej moaned, opening his legs wider to welcome Eric's cock in his body, Eric's head seeking entry aided by pre-cum alone.


Eric opened the drawer beside the bed and grabbed a small bottle of lube and a condom, which he ripped open and put onto his cock - a demanding task in the near complete darkness. Once sheathed properly, he spread some lube on his fingers and started caressing Matej's puckered entrance, until he felt the muscle relax and slipped a finger inside, massaging the hot channel, sliding in deep enough to find the glans and massage it with the tip of his finger.


"Oh", Matej seemed to hold himself back, but couldn't suppress a groan, his hard body pushing up underneath Eric's, eyes wide and sparkling in the dark room.

Eric kept his finger inside, widening the soft muscle while he pressed his mouth on Matej's, sharing his ragged breath, teeth clicking together, devouring each other.


Eric soon added a second and third finger, twisting his hand several times, to spread the lube inside Matej. When he finally withdrew his fingers, he replaced them immediately with his cock, the engorged head sinking into the willing body, Matej's muscle clamping down on him, bringing him to the edge of orgasm before Eric had even begun move. Matej's legs closed again on Eric's waist and pressed him into him, sinking the hard cock deep into the warm channel.


Strained painting told Eric that Matej wasn't used to this kind of intercourse and his heart swelled for the man underneath him who had clearly remembered Eric's own hesitation to bottom when they first met in the sauna. He began to withdraw his cock slowly and rocked his hips to sheath himself deep into Matej's heat. Sweat trickled from Eric's nose down on Matej's cheek, while he fucked his lover slowly. The familiar tingling in his balls had Eric speed up, eliciting louder moans out of the man. Shit, he could only hope Sarah was fast asleep.


Matej's cock was leaking heavily, balls drawn up tight, pre-cum smeared all over his stomach as Eric rocked back and forth, pushing his cock into his lover again and again before withdrawing it until only the head was enveloped by the loosened muscle and sinking back in, balls slapping against firm muscles and pubic hair scraping against the tender skin behind Matej's balls. When Eric closed his hand around Matej's cock, the man came undone and jets of hot come splattered all over his chest, even up to his neck, ass muscles clenching in quick succession, sending Eric over the edge along with him, filling the condom with his warm seed.


Still buried deep inside his body, Eric collapsed on top of him and found himself in a tight embrace, bulging muscles pressing him tenderly towards Matej's rising and falling chest. Matej kissed his cheek and licked the sweat tenderly off his face, while Eric's softening cock slid out of his ass. Eric held on tight to the condom and put it into a handkerchief before throwing it out of the bed and returning to his place beside Matej's glowing, sweaty body.


Aiming in for a passionate kiss, a soft knock on the door made them freeze in mid motion.


"Daddy?", the door opened and Sarah peaked inside. As she had not bothered to switch on the light in the hallway, the room remained dark. Matej and Eric slid away from each other in a desperate attempt to regain some decency in front of the young girl. Eric prayed that she didn't walk around the bed to Matej's side and step on the used condom.


"What is it sweety? Can't you sleep?", Eric said softly, trying to calm down his sky-high heart rate.

"No, I dreamed about the movie and woke up. I think it scared me a little."


Great. Thank you, Disney. Where's the time when kid's movies didn't cause nightmares? Eric sighed.


"Honey, it's alright. But you can't sleep here tonight", he hesitated.

"Why not?", Sarah looked up inquiringly, clearly expecting to slip into the bed next to her father.


Better go with the truth.

"Matej is here." Eric was sure it was just a matter of seconds before Sarah would realize her friend's presence anyway.

"Hey Sarah", Matej provided rather lamely, grabbing Eric's hand under the blanket as if hoping for some kind of cue from him.


Sarah froze and glanced over at the huddled form next to her dad on the bed.

"Why are you sleeping in dad's bed?"


Whoa. A loaded question if Eric had ever heard one. How would he deal with this at the precinct?

I'm the one asking he questions here. So not gonna work with his daughter.


"Do you want me to leave?" Eric wasn't sure if Matej had aimed the question at him or at his daughter, but he knew that he did not want to send Matej away. Not after he had almost lost him once. He turned back to his daughter.


"Honey, I like Matej very, very much. He's a great friend and takes good care of you. I am hoping that he might want to take care of both of us, you know?" Eric felt Matej's hand squeeze his, clearly surprised with this new approach.


"But I want to sleep with you, daddy. I'm scared" Lips trembling, Eric could tell the first signs of his daughter starting to cry.


"It's okay. If you want me to stay, I'll stay either way. Hop on in", Matej said, scooting over further, so Eric could move with him to make room for his daughter at the edge of the bed.


Sarah was unusually quiet, but she finally slipped under the blanket. Eric noticed how Matej picked up his shorts from his bedside and slipped them on quietly, stepping out of the bed to dispose of the condom and pick up Eric's shorts as well, handing them to him underneath the blanket so Eric could slip into them without getting up.


Sarah had settled on her side looking away from her father, so Eric put his arm around her, hoping she wasn't mad or jealous and would be her usual self by tomorrow.


His heart skipped a beat when he felt a warm large arm wrap around his belly and a broad chest press against his back, shortly before the bed fell silent and the strange bedmates' breathing evened out, until one by one fell asleep. Eric's last thought was how much he loved the sensation of falling asleep in the warm embrace of the younger man's arms. He hoped to find a way to include Matej in his life with Sarah and he also hoped that this was what Matej wanted. Closing his eyes, he fell asleep to the man's warm breath tickling the hair on his nape and he felt tears sneak their way onto the pillow, hugging his daughter softly until the peaceful darkness enveloped him.

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